Monica Giovine • Life Coach, NLP Coach, Trainer & Mentor | Personal belivers and concept of reality
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04 Dic Personal belivers and concept of reality

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We all have thoughts and beliefs about ourselves, our bodies, our lives, our self-image, our capabilities, our ability to receive love and to deserve love,  about deserving to be happy or not.

We have beliefs about others,  about our families,  our loved ones, loves, men, women.  We hold beliefs about everything, we have personal beliefs about the world, success, work, money.

We have beliefs about life, about what is right or wrong, our food, our clothing, everything.

We do not notice the cost but we have beliefs about everything that we have created in our lives because of family, our experiences, the education we had, the culture, and  the society in which we live.


From where we stand, our beliefs, our view looks like “reality” but it is a personal reality and it is not absolute.

So we can say that we are what we think we are, and the world is what we think it is. We can also say that we see the world as we believe and think it is.
We see reality through our own filters.

These filters are created from our experiences, beliefs, thoughts …

For example, it  has been proven that in every instant our minds receive 20 million bits of information, but our rational mind leads us to be aware of no more than 20 bits at a time.

So for every bit that we process and experience at least one million are unconscious.

This reflects the very personal vision and the perception of external reality.

What we call REALITY is but a drop in the ocean of possibilities. We take only a few drops from an ocean of possibilities and alternatives.

Our beliefs, our thoughts affect what we think and then become our reality and that of course is interpreted as we have seen with our own filters.

The filters select personal thoughts and allow us to experience the feelings that influence our actions and our choices.

Our thoughts are influenced by many factors:  the environment, from family, from our experiences, feelings, our culture and much more.

We interpret reality and we have our own vision of the areas of reality, in all areas of life.

So we use our personal filters and create our thoughts about relationships, our ability to love and receive love, we have our own filters of thought about men and women.

Our experiences, including traumatic experiences, conditionings, denial, guilt, fears, and the all-limiting thoughts that hinder the realization in our lives … they are always ready to stop our lives and create what we think of as reality.

Our reality is a creation of our mind.  So our reality is different from the reality of the other.

A person might be unconsciously afraid to love or receive love, because of an unconscious invalidation of the rational desire to love and be happy arising from attempts to escape from suffering.

Unfortunately, these beliefs and emotions are powerful energies and can attract life partners or situations that will confirm our unconscious fears.

If a person wants to love but her subconscious is afraid of love or thinks she is  not worthy of being loved, she will most likely meet partners with similar thoughts  of unworthiness, resulting in both partners attempting to escape from the couple’s relationship.

The fear of love that comes and then escapes from the relationship originates from the unconscious mind  which is much more powerful than our rational mind.

So we do not just want to escape consciously or rationally, instead it is the unconscious mind that convinces us otherwise;  every effort to the contrary will be thwarted.

Rational mind and subconscious mind:  it’s like comparing a pebble to a mountain, we do not realize it is the unconscious mind that guides our every choice.

Our thoughts are governed by the conscious mind about 10% of the time, while 90% of every choice or action is governed by the unconscious.

Although according to research conducted in recent years, the proportion between the conscious and unconscious is much more distant.

Our beliefs are mostly unconscious. Our beliefs were formed by our culture, our upbringing, our experiences, our matrix, i.e. family scripts.

Most of our beliefs that are then molded by countless personal experiences are interpretations of these experiences.


Each person evaluates other people, facts or events with his own personal filters. Including himself.  Our beliefs are fundamental and affect the course of our lives.

Our unconscious dictates our beliefs about our ability to succeed or whether we deserve success in life and work.  We have beliefs about our ability to lose weight and our metabolism.

We have beliefs about money, the ease or difficulty of getting it.  Is it easy?  Is it hard?  Do I deserve to be rich?  These beliefs are deep and often unconscious, nor are we aware of them.

Our beliefs about being worthy of love affects our ability to receive love. Our beliefs about men and women affect our meetings and our relationships.

Our beliefs about our partner or our girlfriend reflect our expectations of him or about him.

Our beliefs about relationships affect our relationships and our own reports about love.
For example, think of the proverb: “Marriage is the tomb of Love.”  Think how differently it could be interpreted if went like this:” Marriage is the Temple of Love”.

How were your thoughts?  Maybe a little ‘more relaxed?

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